Here’s a challenge

By Rev Stephen

We all know what it's like to put up with someone who knows everything, or thinks they do. Religious people are often the worst. I think we all want to flee from know-it-all dogmatic people.

And what about the science-deniers and people caught up in conspiracy theories? Maybe, like me, you’ve tried unsuccessfully to talk sense to a friend or family member like this.

The reality is that people don't care about our arguments, but they do want to know that they have been heard.

Our caring of the other often needs to include listening and learning to understand them. It can be seriously hard work.

I have begun to learn a simple rule: having all the answers closes down real understanding between people. But asking good questions opens up understanding. It’s how therapists and good educators work. We pray for wisdom to know the right questions, not for the ability to insist on the right answers. And we encounter others in a spirit of willingness to learn from them as well.

Be prepared to forgo the satisfaction of having the other person agree with you and always show respect for their autonomy. It’s human nature that we seldom change our minds straight away but good questions stay us and do their work in us over time.

Jesus was an expert at this stuff, answering silly questions with better ones! We’re still chewing on them 2,000 years later.